People who won't be driving for Mercedes in 2017

1. Nico Rosberg

Ya. It's true. I dare you to refute this one.

2. Bernie Ecclestone

If he wanted to drive, he'd just pay all the other drivers to sit out a season, then cruise around in a Rolls until the season ended.

3. Rio Haryanto

Niki: "Hey Toto"
Toto: "Hi Niki"
Niki: "I just found this great driver for Mercedes!"
Toto: "Oh really? What's he accomplished."
Niki: "Well he's Indonesian, so it would open a new market for shirt sales."
Toto: "Niki...What's he accomplished..."
Niki: "Well he's never finished higher than 15th, got kicked from Manor, and his best result in GP3 was fifth so..."
Toto: "Oh, Perfect!"

4. Me

Does anyone have the # to Mercedes' HQ? Is it toll free? Do they offer an intro driving course?

5. You

Sorry :(

6. Max Chilton

Actually, I'd kinda like it if he came back, I need someone to direct my slow driver jokes at...

7. Jeremy Clarkson

Although to be fair, the pit crew wear helmets, so they might just be alright.

8. 7,469,897,734 people (and counting)

Wow. That really puts it all in perspective.

9. Fernundo Aloonso

Alonso's long lost cousin, while dashingly handsome and probably rich, will not be driving for Mercedes F1 Team in 2017.

10. Hannibal of Carthage

I mean it's been a while since he's even rode an elephant. But hey, it fits the livery!



Thanks for reading! Let me know who you think won't be driving for Mercedes next season